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5:48 1 Jun 2022

Det surrade om strålkastarna i regnet. Ljuset slog över den döda kroppen. Utöver detta ett oändligt mörker.

Asfalten var blodig och runt djurets huvud låg en gloria av krossat glas. I telefonen hade jag blivit ombedd av polis att gå ur bilen och vänta i närheten. Mina skor blev bruna i det blöta gruset.

Det skulle komma en eftersöksjägare till olycksplatsen för att ta rätt på det påkörda djuret. Jag kände mig dum då jag inte visste vad det innebar, men eftersom allt detta snart var över så ställde jag inga motfrågor utan gjorde istället som jag blev tillsagd. Vädret hade gjort vägen hal. Bromsarna på bilen slöa.

Igår på jobbet tänkte jag på dig igen. Jag plockade ur en diskmaskin och staplade glas för att bära ut i restaurangen, varav två hade fastnat i varandra. När jag försökte lossa dem gick istället båda två sönder i mina händer. Jag petade in en av glasbitarna i handflatan innan jag städade undan resten. Stämplade ut vid tjugotre.

Vägen gick genom en mörk och tät skog. Från den knakade och prasslade det och jag visste att jag inte var ensam i natten. Myggor och andra insekter hade börjat samlas kring djurets kropp. Då och då ryckte den till, i nacken och i de brutna bakbenen. Vem jag väntade på eller hur länge det skulle dröja visste jag inte.

Strålkastarnas ljus färgade allting i gråskala. För att slippa undan oönskade tankar uppehöll jag mig genom att gå närmare djuret.

Jag fantiserade om vad ta rätt på innebar. Jag var säker på att djuret redan var dött, jag hade kört fortare än vad jag hade erkänt för polisen och motorhuven på min bil såg numera ut som en hopknölad servett.

I mörkret blänkte två glaskuleögon. De stirrade ut i allt som var ingenting och ur djurets mun rann det klumpigt blod. Mellan ögonen satt det en en bit glas inkilat från bilens framruta.

På avstånd hörde jag hur någon närmade sig. Jag ryckte till och skyndade mig tillbaka till min bil. Som om jag blev påkommen med att göra något som egentligen inte var tillåtet.

Personen på andra sidan vägen syntes dåligt och bar varken reflex eller ficklampa. Det första jag fick syn på var en ballerinasko. Den satt fäst på ett långsmalt ben iklädd vita jeans. Jag blev överraskad när jag förstod att personen jag väntat på var en kvinna, en tanke jag sedan kom att skämmas över.

Hon gick med oplanerade steg åt mitt håll. Jag blev osäker på ifall det verkligen var henne jag väntade på, men ingen annan människa skulle ha vägarna förbi vid den här tiden. När hon fick syn djuret avbröt hon sin kurs mot mig och gick rakt ut till kroppen på vägen.

Jag hälsade och uppgav mitt namn. Kvinnan hade ingen jacka och i handen höll hon sin mobiltelefon. Jag tänkte att hon måste ha blivit störd i något annat för att komma och hjälpa mig.

Hon satte sig på huk vid djuret och jag började redogöra för vad som hade hänt. Kvinnans bil syntes inte till och jag undrade hur hon skulle få med sig kroppen därifrån. Kanske skulle det komma en till jägare eller någon från polisen och möta upp henne. Hon undersökte djuret en stund och jag gjorde tafatta försök till småprat som inte besvarades. Jag var trött på att försöka kommunicera med någon som inte svarar. Efter att ha försäkrat mig om att hon inte behövde mig längre så gick jag istället för att ringa en taxibil. Min trasiga lämnade jag kvar för att hämta en annan dag då allting kändes mindre.

Jag klev in i taxin och andades ut. Genom bakrutan kunde jag se olycksplatsen slukas i mörkret. När taxin kommit ut på E4:an så ringde det i min mobiltelefon. Det var en eftersöksjägare skickad av polisen som undrade vart jag var. Jag svarade att jag var på väg hem och att jag redan hade fått hjälp. Han berättade att det inte kunde stämma. Ingen hade varit förbi olycksplatsen än, han hade nyss kommit dit och väntade vid min parkerade bil och den påkörda kvinnan.

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