Halloween på Gröna Lund

2:38 5 Nov 2018

 

När jag var liten fanns det inga fritidsgårdar. Eller såhär det fanns massa fritidsgårdar men inte för den brokiga skaran människor som växte upp på Lidingö men ändå valde att gå i skola inne i stan, på Adolffredriks musikklasser (obs skryt). Det närmsta vi kom till en fritidsgård var antingen att åka fram och tillbaka i tunnelbanan (obs skryt) eller motsatsen Gröna Lund. 

Gröna Lund på den tiden var rufft. Inte lika flashigt som idag. Runt pop-expressen hängde fjortisarna och utbytte playahead-namn och munherpes. Där kunde man inte gå förbi utan att någon började skrika glåpord åt en. Emo-gängen från typ Märsta var ännu obehagligare. De brukade mest gå runt i parken och se obehagliga ut. Det var alltid unga tjejer som hängde med killar som var alldeles för gamla. Folk raggade som galningar inne i parken och jag tror helt ärligt att många av mina kompisar iaf fick hångla pga Gröna Lund. Jag var alldeles för kort och konstig och fick nöja mig med adrenalinet av att gömma mig från någon obehaglig 15åring med mustasch som man råkat förolämpa.

På extreme (RIP) skulle man skruva av glödlamporna och behålla som souvenirer och i uppskjutet skulle man spotta vid precis rätt tillfälle så man liksom åkte bredvid sitt egen spott i luften. Ett guldkort kostade runt 1000 spänn och hur vidrigt det än må låta så var man tvungen att på ett eller annat sätt fixa ett för att kunna hänga med sina kompisar. 

I slutet av sommaren hade folk så mycket åkband runt armen (man sparade för att visa status?) att det kunde bli en hel ärm. Tror min kompis Edvin var där typ 30 gånger en sommar (kan varit 8). Gröna Lund är en av de viktigaste platserna i min ungdom, en av de få platser jag verkligen bryr mig om och vill bevara. Varför säger jag detta? Jo för INGEN får tro att detta på något sätt är en diss mot Gröna Lund, parks and resorts eller deras Halloween-satsning. Älskar er och ta inte illa upp. Snälla. Vill inte bli portad eller nåt sånt. 

Gröna Lunds halloween-satsning är det obehagligaste vi har. Det är inte zombiesarna eller de utklädda clownerna som får mig att rysa. Utan faktiskt allt annat. Att se en arg base23:are som precis bombat sin tredje audition till musikalen Ghost på Chinateatern springa runt och jaga 12åringar för 89 kronor timmen är så jävla läskigt. En stackars wannabe-skådis som är skitarg för att dens föräldrar hatar den pga att den aldrig blev civilekonom, inte zombies, utan att unga människor gillar att spexa är OBEHAGLIGT. Det är inte obehagligt med clowner som jagar en, det är obehagligt att folk från ”min tid” fortfarande jobbar i chokladhjulen och att de fortfarande raggar på 14åriga tjejer.

Det är inte obehagligt med spindlar, råttor eller häxor. Det är obehagligt att det överallt springer runt dampiga barn som alla heter KEVIN. Snälla kan jag få döda en Kevin? Hänga upp honom på en påle så att alla andra Kevins ser vad som händer när man springer in i mig när jag håller en fish n chips i handen? Och förlåt men varför har de OLIKA såsalternativ till fish n chipsen? ALLA VILL HA REMOULAD OCH SÄGER DE NÅT ANNAT SÅ GE DE REMOULAD ÄNDÅ, det är det obehagliga. Det är inte obehagligt med virus. Det är obehagligt att Gröna Lund lägger ner Auqaria för att bygga nya attraktioner istället för att förvalta de som finns. Obehagligt att känna att vi snart kommer förlora lustiga huset, jetline eller Pettson och finduslandet (den såg ni inte komma va?) för att parks and resort ska bygga nåt på höjden igen (vi börjar tröttna).

Gröna Lunds halloween är en kommersiell succé som ALLA älskar men det som skrämmer mig mest är att jag blir gammal och att det inte ser likadant ut som när jag var 14. RIP mitt Gröna Lund.

Pål Ströbaek

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