Rihanna, Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter and more to star in an all-female Ocean’s eight!

2:49 11 Aug 2016

OMG OMG OMG OMGGGgggggg yaaaaaaaaas if this isn’t exciting news. With seven out of eight cast members announced we know that Rihanna will be joining Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Awkwafina and Mindy Kaling on the big screen. I actually came from writing that. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SUCH A LINE UP???? I think not. Thank god it’s finally happening.

eeeeeee

Who knew I needed Rih and Helena Bonham Carter in am movie together? Me, to be honest. And apparently Warner Brother’s (!) who have also announced an October start date in New York. Gary Ross (Hungergames/Pleasantville) will be directing and I could not be more jealous of him. Imagine getting to work with all that talent?!?! He is also writing the piece along with up-and-coming screenwriter Olivia Milch (daughter to television producer/writer David Milch) while Steven Soderbergh (Ocean’s eleven, twelve and thirteen) is producing. But enough about them, let’s get back to the cast.

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To no one’s surprise, gathering eight women in a movie is extremely upsetting to Men on the Internet™. Some of the comments you’ll run into reading about Ocean’s eight are:

”Sweet merciful crap.”

”These women don’t do squat for the target audience.”

”Pathetic.”

”Fail.”

”They’re all garbage.”

”Wow. What’s next, 12 ANGRY WOMEN?”

”So other than Hathaway and she’s debatable, the rest are old and/or ugly.”

A bunch of sexist crap proving just how fragile patriarchy is. Mention an all-female cast and people will lose their minds in anger. But then there’s those who have done their research and encountered a bit of hope:

”Soderbergh and Ross give me confidence this may be a good film because their participation should guarantee this won’t be another female Ghostbusters.”

Thank GOD there’s men involved people! An all female cast MUST be counterbalanced with some notable men that Men on the Internet™ can trust to keep all them women from making it a complete disaster like that ONE other movie. Yes. They must not have read a woman is co-writing though. Let’s hope she doesn’t ruin it!

On a less sarcastic note, I truly hope this will be more of a Bitch better have my money sequel than anything else. Just think about RiRi, Blanchett and Kalin setting the world on fire while building friendships and tearing down establishments. I realize their bare existence is doing just so but witnessing it in a movie theatre is still just as exciting. Can’t wait to be blown away and most importantly watch Men on the Internet™ get more and more sad over female excellence. <3

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