Även personalen i flygplatskontrollen kan behöva lära sig lite vett och etikett. En gång var jag på Heathrow i kön till säkerhetskontrollen i Terminal 5 och där fanns en vakt som var besatt av tanken att jag hade vätskor i mitt handbaggage.

– Do you have any liquid or other fluid contents in your hand luggage?

– No.

– If you have any liquid or other fluid contents in your hand luggage you must take it out.

– I don’t.

– Sir, I ask you again. Do you have any liquid or other fluid contents with you?

– No.

– Sir, have you brought any liquids in your hand luggage? Yes or no?

– No.

– You MUST take out the liquids before passing through security.

– I do have a barrel of liquid nitrogen with me. But that doesn’t apply, do it?

– Stop kidding with me.

– Ditto.