Being a fan is a sort of mirroring. You search for contact points, real or wished for, where your lives are aligned with one another. Intersections of recognition. Like hearing a song in which the artist re-enacts something you’ve been through or having them share the same interests as you, creating within the same field, coming from the same place, sharing your dreams and desires, your culture, history, sexual orientation or gender identity.

I feel very aligned with Rihanna. She gets, reflects and challenges me. Not to achieve something far fetched or unattainable, just to dare be my authentic self and to do so with my head up. To be proud of my desires rather than shaming myself for them. To be proud of my priorities, proud of my honesty, proud of my open heart. And most importantly: accept the fact that I’m extremely flawed and make that an asset rather than a burden. To be unapologetic. And as it turns out, acknowledging your flaws is one of the best ways of relating to those around you. Stanning for Rihanna allows me to bond with friends, strangers, family and myself. It’s attracting.

So, when it comes to her, the contact points are mostly real rather than wished for. That has turned out to be necessary in order for me to connect. For someone else the contact points may be dreams of what you wish you were or want to become.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be someone or somewhere else. Unlike voting for political ideas representing the upper class, where the action in and of itself is self-neglect, looking up to an idol is self care. The fangirl’s political position is so damn neglected when it should be seen for the radical potential it possess. Fangirlin’ is the collective effort of solidarity and the fanbase is a place where you learn how to give and receive support, get creative, share ideas and develop tools for building a stronger community. That is meaningful on both a private and communal level.

I mean let’s be honest. We all need hope, we all need escape, we all need a vision or dream of utopia. A good artist provides you with that. An amazing one might also question authority, use their platform to lift up those in need of lifting, speak out on sexism, racism, inequality etc etc. The list of admirable and important qualities an idol can possess goes on and each item on that list can allow you to feel aligned with them. To mirror yourself in their achievements. In their strive. But for me, more than anything, it’s the moments of discrepancy that provides a connection with the person rather than the idea. That is where my mirroring happens.

With Rihanna, the discrepancy is always present. There’s no one I feel more aligned with, that I see myself more in, than her. From social media to interviews, concerts, editorials and music – there’s always a point in which an indisputable humanity (vulnerability) shines through. In that I find myself. I find my friendships in her friends. I find my family in hers. I find my courage in her honesty and my body positivity in her boldness.

I also find one of my biggest sorrows when I see her holding Majesty. Because I know that warm, undescribable feeling and at the same time I know how it feels to leave that child behind. The promising of always being there and the fear of never fully being able to follow through. Because that’s what it means to follow your dreams in another city, country or continent, you end up leaving people behind.

I have officially watched this atleast 4000 times! My lil oxtail is growing up so fast, and I can't take that I'm missing out!! Just happy she remember Aunty name!!! "WOBYN DANCE" ?

A video posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on May 16, 2016 at 1:20pm PDT

And you know what? It’s 100% ok. You do your best, live your life and make sure to take care of yourself so that you can be as present as possible when the two or three or ten of you meet again. And you allow yourself to be the baddest aunt, cousin or sister that baby could possibly have.

Most importantly, you have fun. Whether she’s on her own, at the beach with her BFF, at home for Christmas or up on stage – she feels so damn relaxed. Like every space is natural to her. Not because she fits in but because she doesn’t care too. She won’t let people staring at her limit her sphere, she won’t let an industry built for white people stop her from taking from it what she wants (but in other spaces she might be allowed to deliver the best acceptance speech she’s ever given), she won’t let a negative relationship infect the next one and she won’t give up her integrity for nothing.

And that’s some empowering shit. Being a woman in this society is a fucking nightmare. Each and everyone of us are strong for just daring to live. To see Rihanna not only engage with life but to conquer it is so liberating to me. And still, not even for a second, do I feel less than her. Somehow she manages to constantly jump down from the pedestal she’s being put on. She doesn’t want to be worshiped so she aligns herself with her fans rather than rising above them. THAT is everything. That is what makes her your friend and your confidant. That is what not only talks to you but with you.

To think that through all of the craziness and with all the flashing lights she manages to stay so grounded is really admirable. We talk about celebrities having to check themselves but truth is if we did that half as much as Rihanna must do we’d be way better off. If she can stay humble, so can you. If she can put friendship first, so can you. If she can take the time to listen when Majesty has something to say, even though she’s in the middle of a world tour, than you can take the time to listen to your grandma repeating the same thing over and over again at the dinner table.

If she can find the courage to open her heart and her soul with millions of eyes watching, judging, hoping she’ll fall – then so can you. And that’s what I look up too. That’s what draws me in. That’s what’s so magical about stanning for Fenty: you stan for your friend. And there’s nothing stronger than friendship.

/Alex, who chose to have most of the pictures in this post be of Rihanna and Majesty. Their relationship is my closest alignment and I love seeing it develop.

Only one date left of the ANTI tour in the US now (!!!). In less then a month Rihanna will finally hit Europe but two days ago she performed for the 39th time this tour, in Houston. Here are some special moments from the night:

A proposal!

Tonight in Houston at the #ANTiWorldTour someone proposed ?? pic.twitter.com/bC5zOrO0Q1

— Antonia (@NiaFenty) May 16, 2016

Rihanna notices her fans from Twitter in the crowd:

When Rih saw me she was like "oh shittttt" and she smiled so big and waved so hard HALP

— Tai (@Heauxno1currr) May 16, 2016

she kept looking at me….I couldn't get over it.

— terrence. (@phucktee) May 16, 2016

And Tiffany dresses up as the queen herself: 

Last show is TONIGHT in Atlanta, then it’s time for the European tour. SO EXCITING!!!!!

Give the biggest of hugs to our Fan of the week heauxno1curr aka Tai!

1) Name and age?
Tai Grace, 16.

2) Where do you live?
Houston, Texas.

3) Occupation?
Student/ Lifeguard/ Freelance Photographer

4) Number of times you’ve seen Rihanna live?
3 times.

5) Have/are you attending ”ANTI WORLD TOUR”?
Yes – she snatched my wig.

Tai and Tee at AWT.

Tell us all about the AWT plzzzzzzz!
I’ve seen Rihanna twice in concert but honestly this time was different than the rest. I truly feel that Rih has grown so much as an artist and I’ve grown with her. ANTi World Tour has hands down been her best tour yet. I met my ”twin” Tee and we Phucked up shit together! Rih sung my absolute favorite song by her. Same Ol Mistakes which is a cover of Tame Impalas song and she phucking recognized me. She had tugged my wig all throughout the concert but when she recognized me my wig was phucking snatched off! In all seriousness though, She was mesmerizing and she still remains the same humble fave that Ive known since I became apart of this fanbase. I love her dearly and there will never be another tour like AWT

What does it mean to be a navy?
To me, being apart of the navy means having family. All over the world of every sexuality, race, gender, culture and ethnicity and I’ve never been so happy. Rihanna navy has changed my life.

How important is Rihanna for you?
Rih is important to me greatly because her music and her confidence has inspired me to be unapologetic about who I am and the decisions I make throughout my life.

What’s your favorite song, video and era?
My fave Rih song is actually Same Ol Mistakes. I know it’s a cover but her version is absolutely mesmerizing and it does something to me. My favorite video is We found love & my favorite era is GGGB because it really represents Rih saying phuck you to everyone and becoming an unapologetic woman.

What else do you enjoy doing besides stanning for Rih?
Besides stanning, I’m involved greatly in politics and activism. I stan for BLM, Feminism & Veganism (I’ve been vegan for about a month now). I also enjoy traveling, reading books and photography.

You’re very spiritual. What does that mean to you and how does it manifest itself in your everyday life?
Haha, to me spirituality is just what keep me whole and what keeps me connected to the earth, everyone and everything here and my divine source (GOD & Christ). Spirituality honestly didn’t teach me to be a better person because you shouldn’t need someone to tell you that, although it has taught me to think beyond this world, question everything and know that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.

When I got to know you you were like 14 years old and running a HUGE Rihanna account where she would interact with you on the regular. How did that happen?
Oh yes! Most people don’t know this story but there was a previous owner of the account. She gave it to me and my life has never been the same. I guess Rih liked my sense of humor and ever since then we’ve had great interactions.

Will you share a personal Rihanna encounter with us?! Something she’s told you, taught you or done.
Rih recently sent me an amazing DM that was very comforting. I won’t share it, it’s personal, but I DM’d her because I was very upset. My brother had passed away just a few months ago and I was having one of those nights where I realllly missed him. She really didn’t have to send me anything but she did and I’ll never forget it. Now the other encounter I love with her was the tweet in my bio on Twitter! I actually was having an awful day when I tweeted that and she made it all better by just recognizing me. Rih making a picture I took at The Monster Tour her AVI was also HUGE for me because I’m a photographer and for her to recognize my work was huge.

What are your dreams for the future?
In the future I’ll be in school in the U.K. getting my international law degree, doing freelance photography and traveling around the world. And hopefully embarking on an even deeper spiritual journey.

If you could make up a dream encounter/hang out with Rihanna, what would go down? Where would you be, who’d be there, what would you do etc.
A dream meet up with Rih would honestly be me working for her as a personal or tour photographer. She’s an amazing model and well I love her tours so I guess it’s like a dream job!

Tai & her brother. (We love you so incredibly much and are so sorry for your loss. <3)

Rihanna’s collaboration with Manolo Blahnik – Denim Desserts – have been out since May 5. This being a collab none of us will ever be able to afford, the shoes cost betweet $895 to $3,995, let’s take a look at some of the few people with major work benefits (or just rich enough) to try on the ”9 to 5” showstoppers.

First up we have JLo, who wore the boots in her Ain’t Yo Mama music video. Rihanna sent her the boots herself and JLo decided they were too bomb not to be in the video.

She recently did a Q&A on her Facebook page in which she talked about how it was to dance in them.

”They were hard to dance in. Everybody else was dancing, as you see, in kinda like combat boots and sneakers, and I walked out to the set and I was like, ‘Nobody wearing heels but me? OK!’ It was on concrete, outside, so it wasn’t the easiest boot to ever dance in, but we pulled it off.”

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has also attempted to ”dance” in the $3,995 denim foot/legwear.

And then there’s ELLE editors Julie Schott, Sally Holmes, and Leah Chernikoff who were sent out by Nikki Ogunnaike, senior fashion editor at Elle, to try them out on the streets of New York.

”These boots are Attention Seeking 101. If Nikki blessed me with my own pair (size 38) I would wear the shit out of these with a sweatshirt and no pants every day. 9 to 5 boot, STAY.” – Julie Schott

”First off, they are HIGH, which makes them hard to walk in. Second, they’re fully lined in leather, which makes them sweaty to walk in. And while they look KILLER on Rihanna, they were not the most flattering on my bod.” – Sally Holmes

”When I put them on, something happened. The woman next to me told me how much she loved them. She told me she’d wear them in a heartbeat with ”really tight leggings.” I felt a kinship with her and felt emboldened: I mugged for the camera. Guys passed me and looked puzzled. But the women, they got it. And that’s what’s nice about these boots and Rihanna’s style in general. It’s for herself and for other women. Everyone else can take a seat.” – Leah Chernikoff

ELLE isn’t the only magazine wanting to try the badgals on. Glamour’s Caroline Solomon did the same, afterwards admitting ”they’re not the most flattering boots in the world, and I kinda felt like the Michelin man wearing denim ski pants chopped off at the crotch. But no matter, because like I said before, Yolo with a RiRi Manolo.”

Announcing the collaboration, Rihanna told Vogue UK:

”The day I see a woman in the street wearing my shoes…I am sorry for that woman, because I’m going to literally run after her, shouting, ‘Stop! Selfie! Who are you? Where did you get them?’”.

She’ll have to tweet her but what appears to be a ”regular human being with a Twitter account” has been spottet rocking the boots in front of her bedroom mirror.

@rihanna When bae knows how to Kiss It Better ???? Keep up the gr8t work u r a Legendary Fashion Icon & Cr8ter?? pic.twitter.com/q4eHoMsiZX

— Safari Gostosa (@Safari_Gostosa) May 11, 2016

And one of Riri’s personal favorites: Winnie Harlow:

Last but not least, Rihanna herself during a lil’ casual outing in NYC.

Rihanna: Unapologetic, Free, and Sexy as fuck.

Hey y’all! Let’s be real, you probably already know who I am for better and for worse. If you don’t, my name is Samer Alhato and I’m 19 years young. Before I go any further I want to thank Ebba and Alex for giving me this opportunity to rant about my love and admiration for Rihanna.

I was born in Palestine, and immigrated to America with my family when I was 5 in 2001. I’m sure many people are aware of the struggle that comes with being an immigrant in such a large country. Culture shock was definitely a thing that persisted through my life, and my family moved around Chicago for a long time. We’ve finally settled in a Chicago suburb surrounded by beautiful people and an established community. And this isn’t any average community: I live in what many people call “Little Palestine”, a title given to my suburb for having the largest concentration of Palestinians in America. I’m currently a sophomore in college finishing up my Chemistry (pray 4 me) and Anthropology majors as well as my Middle Eastern Studies minor. When I’m not in college I’m working full time as a customer service representative at Walgreens (keep praying for me) or assistant director at a private accounting firm (I make some good ass money there). In my free time I volunteer at the United Holy Land Fund, a nonprofit organization for Palestine that my mother has been working at for over a decade.

Believe it or not, between my social activism, college classes and constant thirst for sex, I do find time for one thing: Rihanna. I actually got to see her (beautiful) ass live, twice. The first time was when I was a Junior in high school, in 2013. I was VIP, but not front row. Granted, I was barely 16 and those seats were what I was able to afford with my job at the time. You know what’s actually really funny is the fact that I had to beg my mom to let me go. No one from our family had EVER been to a concert before. Being the first born, I knew how to pull the strings to my mother’s heart. I was after all her most accomplished offspring (bahahaha). She eventually let me go and the rest is history. I won’t bore you with the details. Just know I cried with some white girl next to me when Rihanna popped outta nowhere singing “Mother Mary”. She followed me on Twitter a month later, thanks to my zaddy @oooshii.

Now, here’s what I’ve been DYING to write about. April 15th I got to see Rihanna live again, 3 years later at the United Center. The Anti World Tour was here, in Chicago. This time – I was front row. Y’all, I looked so damn sexy…’cause I was legit planning on getting laid after the concert. But the dick appointment got cancelled cause men are trash and we benefit from the patriarchy too much. Alas, I am still salty. But whatever, back to the real tea and that’s how god damn amazing SHE was. I’m still in such awe that I can’t really give a professional review, but I’ll try my best. First of all, she’s got one heck of an ass on her body. I’m sorry I just had to say that ‘cause GOD DAMN. Everything she did wrong during the Diamond World Tour was fixed. Seating? Fixed. Lighting? Fixed. Her wardrobe was done in a way to allow for quick transition, easy breathing, and to allow room for a lot of agility. The stage was still high this time, but not nearly as high as last time.  She was on a whole ‘nother level than last time. Rihanna had clearly been perfecting herself over the years. The fact that she started at the end of the stadium made me really happy for people that couldn’t afford front row. Queen of capital equality! She made her way to the main stage as she wrapped up “Sex With Me”, my favorite gospel song. That’s when the stadium went wild. Some ass-clapping music was playing in the back and BAM! “It’s not even my burfday..” she cooed. And then immediately, to my pleasure, she hit her mark for the choreography. That’s when I knew Rihanna wasn’t playing games anymore. I knew what to look out for next – “Love On The Brain”, which was towards the end of the concert. I needed to hear her hit the notes and ascend to the highest level of Heaven. An honorable mention to her performances of “Same Ol’ Mistakes” and “Diamonds”, two of the greatest songs to grace this god forsaken planet. Let me be brutally honest for a second, though. Could she have danced better? Yeah. Could she have hit more notes? Yeah. But you know what the coolest thing about Rihanna is? She’s never going to peak. Because she gets better, and better, and better…and then you ask yourself “will she ever top this?”, and guess what: she does.

I gotta say…I am so proud of Rihanna after witnessing how alive she was on stage during the AWT. I liked that one part where she recognized me and held my hand during “FourFiveSeconds”. Robyn, if you’re ever reading this, I want to fight your ass for recognizing me but not taking me backstage. You’d probably win though anyways. Although, after seeing you live I can say one thing firmly: Any doubts anyone has about Rihanna can be settled after the Anti World Tour. She’s proven all her critics wrong. I can truly say now with full confidence that anyone who critiques Rihanna is biased. That’s why I’m what they call “Rihanna Navy”. We just don’t give a fuck lol. And we continue to prosper in our personal lives because we don’t waste time worrying about people that disagree with our lifestyles. And I think that’s why we’re so close to Rihanna, and why she’s so close to us. We’re all rebels, paving our own paths in our own lives. And the funny thing is I wasn’t always like this. I was shy, complicit, easily conforming. I hid away who I was for such a long time. Rihanna, as a woman in a male dominated industry (and world), truly inspired me to stop caring so much about what other people had to say about me, or would say about who I really was. She’s inspired me to be unapologetic.

On top of not giving a rat’s ass about her haters, Rihanna is in all aspects, free. She’s what we call “carefree”. I think that’s my favorite quality about her. Reading her interviews really gave me a glimpse inside her brain. She doesn’t view nudity as a bad thing, and in fact thinks it can be great for one’s confidence. So in context to sexuality, Rihanna has played a huge role in my life with that too. I’m a very sexually driven person, and I think that’s because I spent a long time hiding that part of me for multiple reasons. I’ve spent so long censoring who I was and who I wanted to be. I thought for once, it’s time to do what I want. It’s time to enjoy what I feel is natural. I think Rih might have had the same self-realization moment too. We spend so much of our resources trying to conform to standards we did not construct, and when we look back on our lives we will see that we did not live as freely as we wanted to.

Now before y’all judge me as some crazy fangirl, you should know that…well, you’re probably right. Hahaha jokes aside, I promise I’m not obsessed. My life does not revolve around Rihanna, and I swear I’ve only dreamt of her like 3 or 10 times. #JokesForDays. My life is mostly social activism on and off social media, studying as much as I can about Palestine, and work work work work work. I’ve never really hid my admiration for Rihanna though! Like let’s be honest: she’s hot as hell, talented af, and so down to earth it’s honestly hard not to love this woman. I feel a personal connection to her and I promise, I’m not being weird. She’s talked to me many times, so it’s hard not to love her! Once, she randomly messaged me on Twitter sharing her experience of dealing with her grandmother’s illness. I was in shock. This woman, a global superstar, took time to directly message me and offer me advice. And get this – she’s done it TONS of times before. I could go on and on about all the times she’s been there for me but the moment that stood out to me the most was when I asked her to tweet “#FreePalestine”. I asked her to tweet that during the summer of 2014, when Israel launched “Operation Protective Edge” on Gaza, effectively killing hundreds of Palestinian children and destroying thousands of homes. I remember literally yelling when I saw her tweet it moments later. She has since deleted it and tweeted a more two-sided tweet, but nonetheless I was thankful for the attention she brought to the issue.

This brings me to our next topic: the Anti era as a whole. Without a doubt, this is my favorite Rihanna era. Musically and artistically, this is objectively her best era. She has done everything she did not do before, whether it be with actual production of music or her vocals. This era is very precious to me for some reason and although I cannot pinpoint it, I think it’s because the nature of the album. Music aside, Rihanna as an artist has always gone against the grain. I think with this album she definitely flipped everything upside down. She went against the grain, but in a different way. Anti itself as an embodiment is something I can relate to – opposition. In all aspects of my life, I have opposed many things. Whether it be oppression, stereotypes, rhetoric, or conforming to the ideals of those above me, this album helps me to continue striving for a form of self-identity and self-actualization. With that being said, it’s near obvious that my favorite song on the album is “Same Ol’ Mistakes”, a Tame Impala cover. Rihanna’s voice added a new dimension to an already personal song to me, and I couldn’t have wished for anything more. The song is all about embracing change, but with a touch of harsh reality. You’re not who you used to be…is that for better or for worse? I can especially relate to the song because of who I am right now, and who I strive to be. I’ve definitely changed in many aspects, but I continue to make elementary mistakes and put myself down for it. I’ve also had my fair share of cutting loose ends with friends because of clashing ideals. I genuinely don’t know anymore what I want to do half the time because I’ve lost so many friendships.

And that’s when it kicks in. I shouldn’t give a fuck. People come and go, doors open and close all the time. What matters is that I continue striving to perfect who I am, and I think that’s where Robyn and I align. We never stop working. So in many aspects, I guess you could say I’m a stan. But I know for a fact Rih and I are friends, so I don’t think there’s an age limit for me to stop supporting a friend. I hope further down the line she takes more radical approaches on social justice issues, rather than being very low-key about her stances in interviews or music videos. Robyn, do not be afraid of fucking up. Do not shy away from having a crazy opinion. After all, you have the right to believe whatever you want. I know she performed in Israel before, but I forgave her long ago. It’s no secret that Israel has the strongest rebranding of colonization and apartheid we’ve ever seen. I’ve since written about Palestine A LOT on Twitter and having her follow has definitely affected my want to educate people. I hope she’s genuinely learned something! I am the child of Palestinian refugees – so I too am a refugee. Rihanna makes me believe that in a world of white men and women dictating what happens, that I too can continue to go against the grain and create beautiful art through my writing and thought process.

I’ve decided to be who I am, wholeheartedly and unapologetically. There is no doubt in my mind that Rihanna has brought on my new level of self-confidence since my early teenage years. It is not my job to apologize to other people for who I am. It is not my job to explain to other people who I am. It is not my job to tell other people that I am a genuine human being, that I am not malevolent. That is their job. All I ask, all that I have ever asked, is to be treated as a human being. I have only ever asked for bigoted jingoism to not be injected into every aspect of my life, and that at least an illusion of decency remain. If Rihanna’s confidence in her sexuality bothers you, that’s you problem. If my confidence in my sexuality bothers you, that’s still also your problem. Tolerating us is not an accomplishment. We don’t need you to “tolerate” us. We don’t need you to merely put up with our presence. We demand to be acknowledged. And we will continue to push boundaries with our bodies, our art, our voices. No longer will we be silenced or censored. Thank you Rihanna, for helping me keep the discourse alive. Thank you for showing me what it means to be a true rebel.

Edit: As you might have noticed, our Fan of the week is Samer who in true ANTI fashion ignored our questions and wrote an essay instead. ;) /Alex & Ebba

BITCHHHHHHHH I just wanna say I love Samer from the bottom of my heart. That’s my daddy I don’t care. Watch him take over the world one day. Just watch. / Ebba

If Ebba’s gonna speak then so am I! SAMER you’re MY zaddy!  .هذه حقيقة, نقطة إلى السطر / Alex